life of a stranger who stole my phone:

This is the inspiring story of hafid from dubai,
the douchebag who stole my phone.
he forgot to switch off the camera upload function,
that’s why we will enjoy a deep insight into his life.
Start on first page.

salam habibis,

just in case anyone cares:

stalk me on instagram

or facebook

or on another useless tumblr.

salam my dearest habibi hafid,

unfortunately i haven’t heard from you in a very long time. i guess you’ve moved on, found a new girl with a new phone. 
well, i understand. now that you are a world famous fashion designer and selfie blogger, i do not suffice anymore. so, what’s left of you is just a few heart-warming memories, a bunch of passed off artistic photographs and some weird android email notifications once in a while. 
still i’m thankful. thankful for all the joy you gave to me and to a few million internet people worldwide. 
wherever you are – i hope someday you’ll upload a selfie again, just for the world to see that you’re okay.
before everybody bursts into tears now here’s a tiny compensation offer: follow me on instagram and just stalk me and my selfie addiction in hamburg, germany. i know, it’s not the same – but somehow we have to move on, right? 
so, get it together, appreciate the time we’ve had and the lessons we’ve learned. thanks to all of you internet addicts and voyeuristic free time stalkers. it sure was a pleasure entertaining you.
goodbye hafid.
ma’a as-salāmah everybody.

thumbs up, laura falafel.

salam my dearest habibi hafid,

unfortunately i haven’t heard from you in a very long time. i guess you’ve moved on, found a new girl with a new phone.

well, i understand. now that you are a world famous fashion designer and selfie blogger, i do not suffice anymore. so, what’s left of you is just a few heart-warming memories, a bunch of passed off artistic photographs and some weird android email notifications once in a while. 

still i’m thankful. thankful for all the joy you gave to me and to a few million internet people worldwide.

wherever you are – i hope someday you’ll upload a selfie again, just for the world to see that you’re okay.

before everybody bursts into tears now here’s a tiny compensation offer: follow me on instagram and just stalk me and my selfie addiction in hamburg, germany. i know, it’s not the same – but somehow we have to move on, right? 

so, get it together, appreciate the time we’ve had and the lessons we’ve learned. thanks to all of you internet addicts and voyeuristic free time stalkers. it sure was a pleasure entertaining you.

goodbye hafid.

ma’a as-salāmah everybody.

thumbs up, laura falafel.

salam salaam habibi fashion victims,

it’s dubai fashion week and hafid’s spring collection is sooo ready to make you all look gorgeous! black and pink are the super hip colours for les hommes this year and discreet virgin white skinny long dresses will highlight the smooth curves of les femmes from now on. but what is an awesome fashion collection without even more awesome fashion models? right. nothing. that’s why hafid made use of ali’s virtuosic photography skills. he spent so much time practicing selfies with his new smartphone that he became the allah of fashion photo expertise. so be prepared habibis: catwalk - here we come!

salam you western winter people,

sorry for the delay but as you may think the christmas business keeps hafid and his friends pretty busy. after garam’s swan lake dance success, everyday is just signing autographs, hiding from paparazzi and sewing hafidresses for you guys. but the business is booming what makes ali’s smile shine so bright that hafid needs to wear sunglasses at home. enviable isn’t it?

hey habibis,
hafid is currently preparing the “ultimate dubai swan lake mega making of 2013” because of garam’s perfect performance on ice last week. the shooting took a little longer than expected because hafid left his phone on the beach last night. unfortunately somebody stole it in the dark and everybody was worried sick. but the magic circle of smartphone brought it back to him, when he accidentally stole it back from some tourist on the street.#whatup #yolo
well, weird stuff. nobody cares. just stay tuned and admire this pic in the meantime.

hey habibis,

hafid is currently preparing the “ultimate dubai swan lake mega making of 2013” because of garam’s perfect performance on ice last week. the shooting took a little longer than expected because hafid left his phone on the beach last night. unfortunately somebody stole it in the dark and everybody was worried sick. but the magic circle of smartphone brought it back to him, when he accidentally stole it back from some tourist on the street.#whatup #yolo

well, weird stuff. nobody cares. just stay tuned and admire this pic in the meantime.

salaaam sophisticated internet habibis,

do you remember garam from the beach with the big foot? well, in dubai dreams do come true: garam went to an open swan lake casting after he practiced non-stop for the leading part. turned out his big foot was so eye-catching between all the other casting competitors that he became the prima ballerina for “dubai swan lake on ice 2013/14”. unfortunately for you guys, there are no tickets left, but at least hafid uploaded a quick emotional video snippet for you.

ma`a as-salāma jamal.

oh no habibis, a few days ago our beloved cockroach jamal went missing and everybody was worried sick. pretty soon the dubai-boys came to terms with the fact that jamal grew up and started his own life somewhere in the streets of dubai. we all know, it’s difficult to let go of beloved ones or beloved things, especially when they disappear without asking. but life’s a bitch sometimes, i’m sure they’ll get over it quite soon. in the meantime hafid “organized” a golden iphone 5s for ali to ease the pain. he seemed happy at first but then he obsessively tried to locate jamal via gps and didn’t even notice that hafid turned on his favorite movie, “stolen” with nicolas cage. too bad.

marhaba and salaam internet,

last week hafid found a super cute baby bug under his pillow. and since hafid loves to keep things he doesn’t own, he adopted him. he named him jamal, which is the arabian word for “beauty” and made a very emotional video of him making his first steps and settling in. jamal is a very independent and vidid little guy. he loves to play hide and seek over days, inviting friends over and eating on the floor - just like hafid. well, i think this is just a perfect match.

happy happy habibis!

what we see here is the result of hard emotional work and great gestures of selflessness. in other words: the picnic was an absolute success. yay. hafid and his friends did some further creative brainstorming and came to the idea to start a band or a tv series, called “two and a hafid men” or “how i met your smartphone”. it’s a tough choice. do you have any ideas to help them? 

time for some romance.

after everybody made up again, ali prepared a huge surprise for hafid and abdulla: a super romantic picnic at dubai beach. he spent all day cooking and preparing for this moment. today’s menu is hummus, tabbouleh and hafid’s favorite dish, falafel. everybody is so excited to see which instagram filter hafid will be using on this one. too bad this wonderful moment doesn’t last forever. ah wait, it does. here.

marhabibis!

hafid really wants to make it up to ali and abdulla today. so he takes them fake-shopping. fake-shopping is one of their most favorite free time activities. it’s not really about buying the stuff, not even about stealing the stuff, it’s more like “pretending to already own the stuff”. hafid the gold digger just knows exactly how to impress his beloved friends: an endless curtain of shiny golden winner cups and a 60 inch flatscreen. thumbs up, these heart-warming smiles can not lie - i think everybody’s happy again.

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